Letting Myself Say “No” (to Myself)

Letting Myself Say “No” (to Myself)

Letting Myself Say “No” (to Myself)

I have been planning for a while to post some chronic resilience videos that talk about all sorts of things. I’ve setup the camera and filmed in my living room, on my deck and in the office. I’ve fiddled with the lighting and stopped and started more times that I can count.

I fret about what to say, how to say it, if I’m being too scripted or not scripted enough. I’ve fussed over my hand gestures and that one stray hair that sticks out to the right. I haven’t made a video that I’m happy with yet.

This afternoon I finally gave myself permission to say “no.” To myself. I decided that I was no longer going to force doing videos. I will instead turn the content ideas into articles.


Saying “no” is such an important part of coping with stress and illness. There are too many things we force ourselves to do that we really don’t want to. If something is taking too much time, energy and emotion consider letting it go.

You have a right to say “no.”

You even have a right to shout “No!”

Illness raises the stakes. The boundary to which you extend yourself should get shorter (and shorter) the worse you feel.

It can be really hard to say “no.” Especially to yourself. If you’re like me, than you have high personal expectations. There are always things I think that I need to do…even when I’m the only one who will know they’re done. Take house cleaning for example. If guests are coming over, I feel like I need to vacuum, wash the sliding glass door, wipe down the fridge, hide the pile of clothes waiting to be washed and have homemade snacks waiting. Most, and probably all, of those things will go unnoticed by any guest. If I hadn’t told you I was planning videos than you never would have known. It’s time to go easy, especially for those things that can be our little secrets.

Letting yourself off the hook can take some getting used to. It’s a funny mix of relief and guilt.

Add in a dash of forgiveness and move on.

Sorry, you won’t be seeing videos anytime soon, but I’ve now got lots of articles in the queue that will be written and posted soon.

What have you said “no” to?

4 thoughts on “Letting Myself Say “No” (to Myself)

  1. Larrah Brooks Rice

    Love, love, love this!!! Saying no is so hard. The feeling of letting someone down can be so overwhelming. Great write up. Keep it flowing!! Hugs!

  2. Jetta Wilkins Skillern

    Thank you for NOT posting videos! I enjoy reading information; watching and listening to it–not so much. Reading is silent, quiet; videos are intrusive and can be annoying to others.

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