I’m not a book highlighting kind of gal. I know that I probably won’t remember to go back and look up what stuck out to me, so I stay in the moment with reading and enjoy insights as they come….and go.
Of course when something does stick with me, I kick myself for not bending the page or somehow indicating how I can find the exact wording behind the profound idea.
Luckily, I had a pen nearby and the foresight to star a quote from the book Emotional Medicine Rx. If you are interested to learn more about the book, I wrote a review of it at my other site, Creative Affirmations.
The quote wasn’t about the main idea the author Penelope Young Andrade, LCSW was discussing in this particular chapter. It was a gentle reminder to the reader, and I immediately connected with her suggestion. Penelope writes:
“Forgetting and remembering are the hallmarks of any transformational process.”
This is so flippin true! How often is it that we decide to transform some aspect of our lives and have trouble remembering, in the moment, what it was we wanted to change?
It’s after the argument that you remember your intention to be kinder.
It’s half way through the slice of pizza that you determine you should have chosen the salad.
It’s just before the deadline that you remind yourself that you promised you wouldn’t procrastinate.
Penelope is right, forgetting and remembering are fundamental aspects of change. This means that it’s OK that you forgot. There is no need to beat yourself up for engaging in past behavior, it’s all part of the process.
Change involves reconditioning ourselves. That means repetition. We must affirm again and again our intentions. We should also expect that we’ll get sidetracked, overly stressed, or just plain cranky and find ourselves with our hand in the cookie jar. Quite literally.
When (not if…when) this happens, gently remind yourself that you’re human and move on.
Eventually the back-and-fourth of slipups and wins will result in a new pattern that looks a lot like the transformation you intended.
Thank you Penelope for reminding me that forgetting and remembering are both part of the game.